What Do You Want to with your life?

someone asked me that question the other day and I had no clear answer. In fact I think that is perhaps the harshest question someone can ask another person especially when they are pretty much unemployed like I am. The truth is, I really don't know, and what I am wondering if I am just too scared of the answer. Too scared to take that leap and risk everything.

My parents were both practical people. My Dad worked in a factory and hated every minute of it and I swore when he passed that I would find something to do that I loved, that I could get up and do everyday and be happy doing it. Now that quest (I am calling it a quest because its been pretty epic) has lead me down many paths, and like Goldilocks I tried all of them from History Professor, to Librarian, to Journalist and finally to Graphic Design. I thought I had found my calling, found what makes me happy and it does, almost.

Now I know there are always aspects of a job your not going to like but the truth is, parts of the job stress me out and worry me. For example what if I send a file to print and I screwed it up. The tediousness of the job is something I really am not a fan of. The art aspect, the creating aspect THE BIG IDEA I love and I know that in design we are never going to be truly happy because when it comes down to it its up to the clients.

However despite the fact that sometimes I don't feel good enough, when I miss a spelling mistake or when my job has to be reprinted because I screwed up, when a piece is done and it looks good and I am 80% with it and the client loves it. (but mostly when I am happy with it). Design can bring me the most joy, that I've ever experienced and that is why I love design.